11 March 09 - WOD

ChAsInG dA SuN...

I can vividly recall being a young dude, riding in the back seat of my mom's Toyota Celica. I would pull my plastic sunshades snuggly down over my eyes and firmly affix my determined stare towards the sun. It was fascinating to me that as we drove upon extended stretches of highway, the sun appeared to be racing against our car. I use to think that eventually we'd catch up to the sun. Somehow, that magnificent ball of fire managed to keep us at a distance well beyond arm's reach. What I initially perceived as a race had ultimately transcended into an all out chase. Stay with me y'all, I'm going somewhere with this; I promise!

Fast forward 20 years and find me in hot pursuit yet again. Only this time, I'm chasing the attention of my estranged ex-girlfriend. You see, just a few months prior ... we'd officially severed ties and went our separate ways. There's an old adage that says "an idle mind is the devil's workplace". Spending excess time alone with nothing but TIME to think had left me feeling the urge to rekindle those old flames. To this day, I'm still not sure whether my notions of reconciliation were prompted by the spirit of loneliness or whether I sincerely wanted to give our expired relationship one last ditch effort. That's neither here nor there. Ultimately, I attempted to force my way back in the door. Except just then, my ex wasn't having any part of that idea.

I learned an important lesson during that phase in my life. I learned that while I was involved knee deep in a race against time, trying to salvage my ship-wrecked relationship. My ex-SIG was determined that what she needed most was time and space. Eventually, it occurred to me that I was on a wild goose chase. Talk about counter-productive! Still not pickin' up what I'm puttin' down, huh? Okay, lemme give it to y'all on a dummy's level. Its often in your best effort to back off when your love interest tells you that they need time and space to map out their next move. Crowding their space will only push them further away. If you don't get anything else out of my message, please gEt tHiS nExT pOinT ... we don't live long enough to experience all of life's hard lessons for ourselves. It is advantageous to learn from the experiences of others, as often as possible. Take it from me or cHaSe dA sUn 4eVeR mOrE.

Corey R.

10 March 09 - WOD

mAn oH MaN...

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child,
I understood as a child,
I thought as a child,
but when I became a man I put away childish things."

So today, a grown azz man stands before you;
A man made sTrOnGeR as a result of the trials I've toiled through

Motivated, Assertive, and Never wavering, not even for acceptance sake;
Handles grown man B.I. & stays on point, "PoWeR MoVe" is my middle name

No doubt I've confronted the challenge of raising a son, and could probably mentor yours too;
Intellectual dude, willing to teach any young brotha about the stuff that a true gentleman should do

Real men don't wreck homes, we establish them instead ... one fortified brick at a time;
We know how to treat a lady and never hesitate to let it be known that she constantly stays on our mind

A man in his purest essence is a leader, yet he knows when to relinquish control;
That's why I'm never afraid to appear vulnerable, here I am LOVE ... mind, body, and soul

A man understands how to stand on his own, but realizes sHe makes him much better;
So he shows his appreciation by giving foot rubs and surprising her with secret LuV letters

A man doesn't make excuses about how the sYsTeM kept him from going afar;
A man knows full well that its in complete darkness that you best see the LUSTER of a true star.

To build, protect, guide and provide are the primary objectives of a man;
Thankful that even despite the absence of a father, these principles I still understand.

When you look at me, what you should see is 100 percent MAN;
And even if you can't recognize, I know more than a few gOoD folk who can.

Molds And Navigates, Meets A Need;
Mends And Nurtures, follows GOD's lead

Now that boiz and ghurls, is MY definition of a real mAn;
I'm offering cOaCh cLaSS for those of you who still don't understand.

Corey R

5 March 09 - WOD

"tHe uN4giVeN"

The dictionary defines the term fOrGiVe as follows:

for-give /[fer-giv]

– verb
1. to gRaNt pArDoN for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2. to gIVe uP aLL cLaIm oN aCCoUnT oF; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3. to cEaSe tO fEEl rEsEnTmENt aGaINsT.
4. to cAnCeL aN iNdEbTEdnEsS oR liAbILiTy oF.

The ideal of forgiveness, from my personal experience ... has always been one of the most difficult to subscribe to. Clearly, I've fractured a relationship rule or two, over the years. I think its safe to say that not one of us is transgression free. We've all sought forgiveness for an indiscretion, at some point in time. In most cases, whether the infraction was committed by us or against us, we've likely set out to proceed with a forgiving mindset. The problem occurs however when we say that we forgive yet fail to truly LET GO of the negative energies that are bound to the initial malevolent deed.

There is an important question which needs to be asked of oneself when faced with the task of forgiving a SIG. That question is: do I have the ability to actually forgive this individual and LeT gO of all ill feelings forever? If the answer is not an absolute YES, then its likely that you are not ready to speak the words "I forgive you". Its actually okay if you're not ready to put the matter behind you. What's not cool is to claim forgiveness yet constantly regurgitate the event(s) whenever you feel inclined to do so.

The act of forgiveness entails two facets. The first mandates that the fOrGiVeR come to grips with the fact that he/she will likely have to spend a significant amount of time reestablishing tRusT as it applies to the SIG who has violated them. The second facet requires that the fOrGiVeR must also be willing to proceed in the relationship while leaving his/her partner's transgressions in the proverbial rear-view mirror. In order to ensure a successful recovery, the violated party has to whole-heartedly embrace the "sHoRt-TeRm mEmOry" syndrome. I realize that this can prove to be an extremely tough pill to swallow. The fact remains that in situations like these, it is just as important to forget as it is forgive. Pardon the temporary pessimism ... but if you're not willing to forget about the situation, it's highly likely that you'll struggle in the forgiveness arena.

My logic is this:

To thine own self be TRUE. By this I mean ... if you know in your heart of hearts that 2 weeks, 4 months, or even 5 years later, you're still likely to fEeL sOmE kInDa wAy about the offense that your SIG has committed, do both of y'all a favor ... pack yo' ISH and get to moo-movin'. No need to torture either partner any further. However, If you do decide to forgive, PLEASE do just that. Make peace with the situation and lEt gO of the baggage. Holla if y'all hear me!!!

Corey R.

8 Feb 09 - WOD

Rubik's Cube

Hello Beloved!

On today, I wanted to change the pace and simply leave y'all with a lil something to ponder:

It would require very little effort for me to wake up daily and decide to complain about one facet of life or another. Bottom line is we all have our fair share of problems. I often imagine LiFe as if it were the 1980's classic puzzle known affectionately to all of us as RuBik'S cuBe.

PeEp GaMe ... We occupy a great deal of time tussling to get a specific aspect of our life all coordinated and peaceful yet we often end up either scrambling or completely neglecting other areas altogether. It's rare that we manage to get all areas of our life into a simultaneous harmonious state. It takes patience, persistence, determination, and believe it or not fAiLuRe in order for us to get to a place where we can achieve the even balance that we seek.

My life is far from perfect. But I'm extremely thankful that God gave me my rubik's cube to figure out, as opposed to yours or anyone else's.

I find it truly astonishing how just when we think our personal cube is too mixed up to ever put back in order, God provides a sneak peek at someone's cube that has missing blocks & peeled off stickers. teeheehee. GoOd grIeF. Are y'all pickin up what I'm puttin' down? Yet you wanna throw a pity party, for yourself, huh? Here's my suggestion to you ... get busy unScrAmBlinG yOuR cUbe and thank your lucky stars that you've at least sTiLL gOt aLL yOuR fRiGGiN bLoCkS. Be Blessed.

Corey R.

29 Jan 09 - WOD

TeDdy BeAr

So I'm watching Oprah yesterday ... What? C'mon y'all it was 4PM and nothing else was on T.V. at the time. Anyway... there was this supposedly popular Ex-evangelist pastor named Ted Haggard on the show yesterday. Apparently, this kat pastered a mega church in Colorado for more than 22 years. According to Oprah, he was a heavy hitter in the Evangelist realm. I'd never heard of him before but that's neither here nor there. Check this out y'all...

Ted Haggard is a husband and father of five. He's a devout Christian (at least by his own estimation) as well. Turns out that GoOd Ole TeD had been participating in a three year long homosexual extra-marital affair with a male prostitute. Long story short, in 2006 the gay prostitute dude, Mike Jones went on a local Colorado radio station and put his "down low" relationship with pastor Ted on blast. Needless to say, the pastor denied the allegations until sLiCk Mike aired a recorded telephone conversation with the pastor. BoOyAh!!!

Pastor Ted, realizing he was backed into a corner, eventually fessed up to his homosexual relationship with the male prostitute. So yesterday, he comes on Oprah to apologize to the gay community, his former church board and congregation, and the male prostitute dude. He wanted to tell how his pOoR decision took his family from cloud nine to rock bottom. He also wanted to share the story of how his tribulations have contributed to his spiritual growth. Good 4 you, Ted!!!. It's always inspiring to hear that trial helps to strengthen it's victims.

Here's what blew me. This baMa admitted that he was sexually abused by an adult male when he was in 2nd grade. He came clean about having had homosexual relations with a boy in 7th grade. Then he fessed up to the relationship with male prostitute, Mike Jones. He even went on to explain that he still has urges and inclinations to want to be with other men. Yet this joker looks Oprah and the american viewing public in the face and tells us all "No I don't consider myself to be gay." That statement right there perplexed the hell outta me. I was ready to forgive TeDDy, til he tried to trick me. I don't know bout y'all but that bama lost me, right then.

Can anyone please explain tEddY bEAr'S logic to me? Because, uh... right about now, I feel jive rUn AmOK, LeD aStRay, hOoD-wInkEd, and a lil baM-BoOzeLLeD too. SpEaK oN It...

Corey R.

7 Jan 09 - WOD

The Unadulterated Truth...

Every year at this time people often sit back and reflect

then try to alter their bad habits and get their perspectives in check

but not me; this year, I'm committed to doing something altogether different

I'm coming to grips with reality... based on life's previous events

Y'all should probably jump on board or better yet just follow suit

start paying attention to the subtleties of life to gain the honest to goodness truth

this piece is not intended for pessimism or negative impact
it's more or less an authentic portrayal of LIFE's cruel & unfortunate facts

We are taught as youngsters to be honest, optimistic, & hard-working folk

Yet not told that we could HONESTLY work our azzes off & our bank account still be a BIG joke

the elders said go to school & get good grades so you can be a success

yet today's economy will have you and your master's degree living from check to check

They preached "do unto others as you want them to treat you"

that's cool until one of your sorors gets caught sleeping with your boo

and finally you open your eyes just in time to begin to see

that the "BFF" moniker you throw around ain't all it's cracked up to be

Go to church and learn the word, so you can become a Man of God

I must've skipped the lesson where I coulda learned that my pastor might turn out to be a fraud

Oh Lawd not reverend too, I mean I know he's not perfect

but his fetish for lil boys turned his marriage into a proverbial train wreck

When I left college, I had 10 cats I loved just like brothers

2 relocated, 4 turned out as snakes, I outgrew two of them, one got married and death claimed the other

now from a homeboy's perspective, it looks like I'm back to square one

that means my best friends these days consist of a few good women and my son

Life has taught me that my favorite sports teams will lose more championships than they will win

plus I've learned that in the twilight of a romantic relationship, you're fortunate if you walk away remaining friends

Life rewards professional athletes and rap stars far greater than our educators

But Life expects me to teach my son to finish college and become a pro athlete later?

Well LATER for that suggestion, life's main lesson is FEED YOUR FAMILY

Keepin' it real… I've yet to fill my son's belly with my college degree

the groceries come as a result of diligent work ethic... courtesy of two jobs

How dare any one of you hate on me cuz my son catches touchdown passes and basketball lobs

The unadulterated truth is that life for me ain't been no ice cold beer

but I don't whimper, cry or whine about it... cuz y'all homie is still here

I'm thankful for lessons learned and I look forward to a few more

so instead of resolving in 2009, I'm just waiting to see what LIFE has in store.

Life will disappoint us surely, if we take our eyes off the prize

But I survive by heeding the following few words to the wise

Love better, play harder and let foolish crap roll right off your back

Life will throw you curves but knowledge and common sense will place you back on track

Happy New Year to my resolve Kings and Queens, I wish you all the best

And even if your resolutions fail to come to fruition you're still a qualifier in Life's contest
I love y'all regardless and pray your potential soars through the roof

But I had to give y'all LIFE as I know it; I call this The Unadulterated Truth!!!

Corey R.

24 Dec 08 - WOD

Sleigh bells ring...

Happy holidays beloved. I hope that by now, all of you have concluded your holiday preparations. I'm nearing completion, slowly but surely. I would probably be finished myself by now were it not for an unfortunate incident that occurred during my most recent visit to the shopping mall. Like to hear it; here it go...

On Monday evening, like most last minute shoppers, I made a trip to the nearby shopping mall to round up the last few gifts on my list. I stopped at a department store counter to ask the clerk to check the stockroom for a particular item. While I stood in line waiting for the clerk to return, I saw one of my former middle school homies. It had been years since our paths last crossed. I'll admin, I was a bit pumped to see him. Now y'all know how brotha's do when we reunite with old homies, right? I had to give my boy some major DAP! So as I reach out to extend some brotherly love, I unintentionally bumped into a passerby. Okay... I did a little more than just bumped into her, I actually elbowed the late teen/early twenties Asian girl in the forehead.

PIE-yOw!!!

As soon as I realized that I'd elbowed her, I turned to apologize. The convo went something like this y'all...

Me - "Oh snap, my bad! I sincerely apologize, I didn't realize anyone was behind me. Are you okay?"
Lil Asian Chick - "No, I'm not alright!!! Does it look like I'm alright? You need to be more aware of what you're doing when people are behind you!"
Me (in a poised, monotone pitch) - "I truly am sorry. It was an honest accident."
Lil Asian Chick's Mother - "Sir, it's okay. Honey, the man has apologized, let's go."
Lil Asian Chick - "No it's not okay. He needs to pay attention to what he's phukkin' doing."
Me (this time addressing the Lil Asian Chick's Mom) - "Ma'am, once again, I apologize. And I wish you and your family a happy holiday season."

At this point, the Lil Asian Chick is quite peeved at both me and her mother. She screams at her mom "you phukkin bytch", throws her clutch purse clean across the department store floor and storms out into the mall area. In the interim, the other customers (majority caucasian), my homie and I were all watching in stunned amazement. Many folk commented on how appalled they were by the young lady's deplorable behavior.

Meanwhile back at the mall entrance, the Lil Asian Chick is rubbing her forehead and discovers there's a knot on her right temple. Oh, that really ticked her off y'all. She really turned it up a thousand, at that point. Just then, the unthinkable happened. The Lil Asian Chick busts out into hysterical tears and yells out "look at my phukkin' head you Ni&&er". Immediately, the incident took on a whole new complexion for me.

As I'm standing in line ... I begin to silently count backward from 10 to one. My Grandmother was famous for doing that whenever someone pushed her buttons. So I turned my attention to one of the customers in line behind me. He began telling me "Clearly you're not the lone cause of her frustrations, she must be having a really bad day." I shook my head in agreement and the next thing I hear him say is "Uh Oh!!" Y'all know good & well when black folk hear the two words "uh oh" we immediately focus our sight towards the source of the uh-oh-ism. So instinctively, I direct my attention back to the mall entrance just in time to observe the Lil Asian Chick running back into the dep't store ... in my direction, none the less.

Okay y'all just for visualization sake... try to picture Lucy Lui facing off against Shaq. Not a good look right? This lil bama sprints back into the department store and stops approximately 5 feet shy of me. Here's how the dialogue unfolded:

Lil Asian Chick - "You don't know me bytch, I'll punch you in your phukkin' face."
Me - "Look shorty, you should probably run along with your family and continue with your holiday shopping."
LAC - "I'm not your phukkin' shorty, Ni&&er"
Me - (with the same calm monotone voice as before) "Watch your mouth."
LAC - "Don't tell me what to do you phukkin' Ni&&er"...

Now for anyone whose counting... that's officially the 3rd time she used the "N" word. I could literally feel my fingers begin to twitch. They yearned to reach out and slap the words back into her filthy little mouth. Miraculously enough, I maintained my composure during the entire ordeal. Moments later, she fled the store with one last quip "Why don't you phukkin' go back to Africa, you phukkin' Ni&&er?"

Trust me, I know what y'all are thinking. I know, Unphukkinbelievable!!! Everyone, (myself included) who witnessed the incident was left watching with our bottom jaw dragging the carpet. We were all dazed. Clearly the Lil Asian Chick had offended everyone in her presence. Not only that ... but she'd also managed to embarrass her family beyond imagination. I am still amazed and shocked at the level of self-control that i displayed. Clearly, if a friend had shared such a story with me, I'd bet the house that I would have put my hands on the perpetrator. What I find fascinating is that even in the midst of a blatant racist verbal assault, I never lost sight of who or what I am... an intelligent Black Man.

I was cognizant not to do anything to escalate the situation to an irreparable level. I did not want to give the Lil Asian Chick nor my caucasian counterparts the satisfaction of seeing a brotha lose his cool and wild out in a public venue. I definitely didn't want to belittle myself by resorting to a verbal sparring session with the Lil Asian Chick. In the end, I was clearly a BIGGER man than I previously imagined possible for myself.

Despite the fact that the clerk later informed me that the merchandise I wanted was on back order, I still left the department store that night with a sense of accomplishment. I can't help but think Barack would have been extremely proud of me. I also carried along with me a tiny little inner smirk. You see, I later realized via the soreness in my left elbow that the Lil Asian Chick's forehead would undergo far more hurt than my ego... because trust and believe me when I tell y'all ... I rang shorty's bell. HAHAHAHAHAHA ... oops, I meant HoHoHo.

Season's Greetings and Happy Holidays.

Corey R.

27 Nov 08 - WOD

Thank-Full

I woke up early this morning with a feeling of Joy in my heart. First and foremost, I'm thankful for my extended family which accepts me for exactly the man that I am. In all honesty, I'm a far cry from perfect... in fact sometimes, I'm a real "piece of work". Those who know me most intimately, are familiar with the mAnY complex working parts of my personality, and quite frankly... if I know y'all like I think I do, you wouldn't want me any other way. Additionally, I am grateful for friends who allow me to vent and provide much appreciated guidance and advice in times of distress. As my audience, you all serve as much more that just listening ears. In fact, at times, y'all are the shoulder that a brotha needs to lean on. You guys never disappoint me. I thank God for each of you. Know that on today and everyday ... I value and respect your honest, insightful, genuine feedback. In a world filled with phony, pretentious, opportunistic folk it does my heart well to know that I've developed a close knit group of grounded "give it to me straight with no chasers" loved ones. You dudes rAwK, maaaan. Happy Thanksgiving beloved.

Corey R.