26 Nov 07 - WOD

"Arm Candy"

I grew up dark-skinned and skinny, plus I also wore glasses
So obviously I never gained the attention of those cuties with high-end fashions
Was ashy with an occasional chapped lip and nappy hair too
So when I approached the popular chicks I'd hear "let's not even go there, boo."

Eventually I guess it scarred me and so I made a vow
To some day call all the shots; the who's, what's, when's, where's, and how's
And later I'd realize that I've become the very same sort of monster
That fueled the youthful inferiority complex that I set out to conquer.

So today I humble myself and speak these long overdue words
To try to purge my inner conscience of thoughts never before heard

To the lovely dark brown sista with the flawless smile
We had an amazing time together; we hung tight for a short while
But at the end of the day all the things that made you "beautiful you"
Like your mahogany skin tone and your stylish short hair due
... simply proved too much of an obstacle for me to overcome
so I did what countless brothers have done and passed you over; I know... dumb.

To the short Ethiopian diva with the ridiculous "poke out"
How dare I allow your height to ultimately be the reason we didn't work out
And to the statuesque honey with the amazing grain of hair
Far be it for me to object to your unstylish collection of gear; so now in turn we're nowhere.

How can I overlook the all natural sista whose beauty comes with no preservatives
Lovely as ever yet your larger shoe size served as a deterrent for the kid
It's cool, I know ... go on and say it
I admit it, I was on some bullISH

Passed on some good girls cause I figured around the corner there'd be much more in store

Sometimes I think my love life should have come equipped with a revolving door. But no more!!

Too thick, too thin, too short, too tall
Reason enough to disqualify a potential mate? I've certainly used em all
Wrong height, bad feet, hair too short, too much weave
Have all been excuse enough for me to elect to leave.

Not career oriented, bad credit, messy crib... I know it's pathetic
Yup you guessed it, your boy jetted
Turned away my fair share of winners because I was super duper choosy
I've got BIG nerve, cause I hated when girls used to do the same thing to me.

Finally I've reached the point in my life that I can sincerely see
There are far more important aspects to a relationship than finding the perfect "arm candy"
Ladies, can you ever forgive me?

Sincerely,

C.

7 Nov 07 - WOD

"What's yours is mine"

Good morning beloved! Today's scenario is an interesting one indeed. "Like to hear it? Here it go":

Ladies, you've been happily married to your loving husband for just over 5 years now. Prior to marriage you guys dated for three years. When you two met, you were the single parent of an 18 month old son. Your husband has embraced and provided for your son as if he were his own flesh and blood since very early in the courtship. Your son's biological father on the other hand, has been inconsistent at best when it comes to supporting your child. Frustrated and left with no alternatives, you initiated court ordered child-support payments. You and your husband have a joint bank account by which you manage monthly expenditures. Now that the child support payments have started to actualize, should those funds be contributed to the joint account? Why or why not?

Here's the twist. Ladies, if your spouse had to pay court ordered child support to his child's mother on a monthly basis, should those payments come out of the joint account or should your husband be left to shoulder the brunt of those payments on his own? Speak on it.... were listening.

Corey R.

5 Nov 07 - WOD

"Loose lips sink ships"

Alright beloved, new scenario:

It's "couple's night" at Dave and Busters for you and your friends. One of your notoriously single friends has been ranting and raving lately about this great person they've been seeing. Mind you, this is the same buddy who traditionally has nightmarish encounters as it applies to dating. Everyone in your circle of friends is filled with anticipatory tingles about meeting this potential new fixture to the couple's night crew.

Eventually, just as expected the happy couple enters the restaurant with huge matching smiles on their faces. As introductions are handed out, you are overcome with a sudden knot in your throat. Much to your chagrin, your friend just rolled up on the scene with your former "booty call" lover from college. None of your other friends are aware that the two of you know one another through previous encounters. During the course of the evening, your former co-conspirator pulls you up and whispers to you "I promise not to say anything, if you don't say anything". Do you enlighten your homie about your former relationship with their new sweetheart or do you keep it moving and let bygones stay bygones? What is your logic? Talk to your boy, I'm all ears...

Corey R.

1 Nov 07 - WOD

"The Alibi"

Okay ladies, here's the scenario:

Last week you received a phone call from a platonic male friend that you've known since childhood. Based on the panicked tone of his voice it was rather apparent that he was treading in extremely desperate territory. Your friend confided in you that due to a recent unfortunate episode his marriage has turned turbulent. He goes on to reveal that his wife recently stumbled across his email account. He believes he neglected to logout of his personal email before exiting their shared home computer. Like many inquisitive women, his wife decided to capitalize on a golden opportunity to snoop a bit. As she explored her husbands 'saved' email folder, she discovered one particular email from $exydiva1 stating how much she enjoyed their recent outing and how seeing him brought back a ton of warm familiar feelings.

Your homeboy came home from work yesterday to an empty house. The note that his wife left on the kitchen counter indicated that she and their 3-year-old daughter were leaving for good since obviously he had a desire to relive "warm familiar feelings" with some other "tramp". This revelation has rendered your childhood friend both distraught and desperate. He calls himself thinking quickly on his feet by telling his wife that the email was innocent and that a childhood friend sent it... that friend is YOU. He then calls your cell phone to give you the heads up that "wifey" might decide to verify his story with a phone call of her own. You realize that your boy was living foul but the fact still remains that he has been your good friend for what seems like an eternity. Would you cover for your homie by regurgitating the prepared script that he provided you; when his wife finally does call? Or would you take the honest route and inform his wife that you are not the women who emailed her man ... leaving your friend to sort out his own mess? "Inquiring minds wanna know". So tell us...

Corey R.

4 Oct - WOD

"skydiving"

Occasionally, life mandates that we do something slightly daring and adventurous. During spurts like this, the mundane and typical regimen of daily living will simply not suffice. Some of us are literally bursting at the seams to embark upon some sort of a breath-taking endeavor. So what's stopping you? It's your inalienable right to experience spine tingling thrills, ever so often. After all, these small wonders often help you to recharge your proverbial battery.

Some of us spend too much time contemplating our next adventure. You owe it to yourself to plan that long awaited deep see diving, bungee jumping, mountain climbing, or white water rafting escapade. If your closest friends are too chicken to join you, feel free to conduct some research to locate interest groups who share your thirst for action. It's only right that you treat yourself to a well deserved adrenaline rush! Even if your idea of adventure is far more subdued than the aforementioned list, you'll be doing yourself a tremendous injustice if you continue to ignore your adventurous itch. Whatever your pleasure, find a perfect quest to declare as your personal "sky diving" episode. Trust me, you'll be glad you did. Just one small piece of advice... be mindful of where your rip cord is located. It truly will come in handy when trying to ensure a smooth landing. Be blessed.


Corey R.

18 Sept - WOD

"Mr. Wonderful"

Sunday night I was privileged to experience one of the greatest R&B recording artists of my era, live in concert. Stevie Wonder graced downtown Baltimore with a solo performance paralleled by none before and likely none to come. Mr. Wonder has more talent in the left hand with which he grasps his harmonica than most of the new recording artists of this generation combined. It was quite refreshing to witness a live performance by a band and an artist who sounded exactly like the albums that most of us have in our personal collection. This is just a testament to the fact that Stevie always gives us 100% authentic music. His hits were never watered down with studio preservatives such as enhanced vocal effects like T-Pain's vocoder or Pro-tools (musical instrument software) generated tracks.

I have been a Stevie fan since I was in pull-ups and a bib. I had very little choice in the matter. My Mom and my Uncle played SW's "Songs in the Key of Life" and "Hotter than July" albums so much that eventually I could decipher a Stevie classic after hearing only the first two musical notes of the song. Perhaps I have an "old soul" but this just happens to be my type of music. Stevie didn't have an opening act. Stevie didn't even have an MC to introduce him. It was just a very intimate evening of SW, his amazing band and a few thousand fans. Stevie started the show by sharing with us that he lost his Mother a little over a year ago. He remarked that the experience was so painful that he contemplated ending his illustrious career. Fortunately for us, Mr. Wonder reconsidered.

I nearly got goosebumps as Stevie belted out his classic like "Love's in need of love today", "You and I", "Lately", "Overjoyed" and "Ribbon in the Sky". The shows energy level climaxed though when he gave us his most popular playlist including "That Girl", "All I Do", "Do I do?", and "Sir Duke (You can feel it all over)", respectively. For three hours, SW gave us all of the classics and even infused some new (soon to be classics) as well. Seeing Mr. Wonder was indeed a big deal for me. His imprint will forever remain a staple of upper echelon music, as far as I'm concerned. If you have an opportunity to see Stevie when he passes through your town, do yourself a favor and be sure to witness "the musical genius" in person. In the meanwhile, I strongly recommend that you blow the dust off of your Stevie Wonder collection and re-discover the wonderment of old. Have a "Wonderful" day, on purpose.

Corey R.

12 Sept - WOD

Too low to get under

One thing that I've come to realize throughout my lifetime is that 95% of the time, the outcome of any project is directly proportionate to the level of investment expended on that project. In other words, I've usually gotten exactly what I paid for. Whenever I have invested ample finance, time and effort into a job, the results have been top quality. In contrast, those times when I've settled for makeshift or sub par resolutions, I've gotten burned. In most cases, I eventually had to shell out more money to have the same services provided again by a professional.

Are you one of those folk who always tries to save a buck by 'getting the hookup'? Do you often seek the services of "jack-leg" mechanics who claim to be able to fix any problem for pennies on the dollar? If you are this type of individual then it is likely that you are also the type of person who is accustomed to spending additional funds to re-do projects. Don't get it twisted; I'm not saying that occasionally you won't find quality service at a lower price. It is important to note however that this will obviously be the exception; not the rule. If you tend to cut corners on major projects, then you probably should not be too surprised when the quality of the finished product does not meet or exceed your expectations.

You remember that $60 Fendi purse you purchased in the salon? Nah, it wasn't your lucky day, you just copped a "knock off". Oh yeah, the guy you paid $250 dollars to paint your entire house will probably not take the time to tape before he paints your walls. As a result you will either have to conduct 'touch up' work yourself or pay someone else clean up his substandard work. Sorry to inform you but that neighbor who replaced your brake pads for cheap forgot to mention that there were five screws left over when he finished the job. Chances are those screws were necessary. No worries though, clearly you'll have that project completed correctly... just as soon as you decide to spend the necessary loot to have the job redone PROFESSIONALLY. Stop taking shortcuts on major chores. Or if not... then at least stop getting upset when your results are inferior. Be blessed.

Corey R.

7 Sept - WOD

Luv 2 love you

Happy Friday beloved. Today's blog is inspired by an often abused emotion. Love, at least as far as I can tell is a fairly intricate and confusing feeling. Some folk misuse the expression by frequently and carelessly tossing the phrase around in every direction. C'mon now, if we let them tell it, they love every damn thing. It seems as though this sort of individual simply inserts the term 'love' in place of the word 'enjoy'. Ladies, after 4 weeks of dating, if he turns to you and says "I love you", trust me, what he really wants to convey is the fact that he "enjoys" you. The next time your girlfriend goes on a tirade about how much she loves Starbucks' Caffe' Latte, please understand that what she really means is that she enjoys it. My brotha, when ole' girl whispers in your ear how much she loves making love to you, (no disrespect but...) it is highly likely that she really just thinks the 'lovin' is quite enjoyable. Here's a thought... how about we start 'calling a spade a spade'. Let's stop confusing gratification with the emotion of Love. They are completely separate and unique entities.

On the other end of the spectrum, we have those overly guarded individuals who would deliberately dispute Love's presence in their life even if they were hit by a Mack truck with LOVE spelled out on the license plates. Okay, I realize that was a little dramatic but you get the point, right? Some folk wander through life intentionally trying to avoid emotional attachment to anything or anyone because they've been "hurt" before. I don't claim to be a psychologist nor a psychiatrist but if I were... my advice to such an individual would be to seek professional counsel, confront the issues that plague your past, break the shackles of yesteryear so that you can maximize your future potential. Trust me, true love is one of those things that we can't afford to deprive ourselves of. If you are the type of person who refuses to love someone because you don't like to appear vulnerable, that's a clear indication that you're already in a very endangered space. Love God, love life, love yourself... enjoy milkshakes. Be blessed.

Corey R.

28 August - WOD

The Inscription

I watched the motion picture epic "Lean on Me" on cable television last night. This movie was inspired by the real life story of one man's unwavering determination to help a population of academically deficient students exceed the State of New Jersey's required literacy test standards. Enough of the background history lesson. I'm sure that most of you are familiar with the story of Joe Clark. In the midst of viewing the movie (for the umpteenth time) something unique occurred to me. Last night, was the first time I was actually able to understand why Principal Clark left a seemingly peaceful, controlled elementary school environment to return to the trenches of the worst school in New Jersey. His decision was influenced by a simple challenge. He was challenged by the Super-Intendent of schools to finally do something "significant" with his life.

Wow! I pondered about that phrase for a second ... 'a significant life'. Then I thought of a few questions that I want to pose to you. I know what my personal views are but I'm especially interested in hearing yours. What criteria do you think should be used to gauge the significance of one's life? Have you lived in such a manner that would allow you to leave a positive mark on the world as a significant individual? Has your existence made the life of any non-relative more comfortable, convenient, pleasant, or peaceful? Who are three individuals that you feel have led significant lives? Finally, do you think you could find three others who would attest that you have led a significant life?

Many people, including myself have a tendency to get caught up in the endless cycle of pursuing wealth, prestige, and popularity. Ironically, it often seems that the most significant stories derive as a result of what an individual has been willing to give to other, (i.e to personally sacrifice) as opposed to what they have amassed. Can you imagine what type of world we would live in if people placed more value on significantly impacting the lives of others? Perhaps that idea is a bit far fetch but guess what... on this blog "I am the H.N.I.C" and I say anything is possible. Be Blessed.

Corey R.

24 August - WOD

Who Knows?

I get nostalgic feelings reminiscing about the days of old when I sat as a young boy and held insightful conversations with my Grandmother. I always marveled at the way my Grandmother's wisdom seemed to precede her. A remarkable woman, she returned to school; a wife and mother of seven... in pursuit of the high school diploma that eluded her in years prior. What is even more impressive is that she accomplished this feat minus the support and encouragement of an often missing in action spouse. Fortunately, she was a self-motivator. Interestingly enough, I have actually gained more knowledge conversing with my Grandmother than I ever did listening to any college professor's lectures.

My Grandmother had an amazing knack for helping me put things into proper perspective. Take for instance, our conversation regarding the first time I thought my heart was broken. I entered the house with my mind in a daze. A single tear formed in corner of my right eye. My Grandmother coaxed me into telling her about my dilemma. She was great at pulling information out of folk because she was so easy to talk to. I revealed the details of my best friend double-crossing me so he could date the girl he knew I had a secret crush on. My Grandmother looked me straight in the eyes and told me one of the wisest and truest statements the I've ever heard. She told me that "time heals all wounds" and not to worry because eventually I would meet prettier fishes :-)

You see, it was those tiny chucks of knowledge my Grandmother always managed to impart that made even my colossal problems seem minor. The "Good Book" tells us to seek knowledge rather than choice gold; wisdom instead of silver. What is your resource for knowledge? In this digital era, most people rely on various media outlets as a means of staying informed. Radio, television, and internet all serve as information highways. Does being informed equate to being knowledgeable? How much of what we see and hear through the media is valuable information? What small percentage of that information is actually relevant to you? Knowledge is power. Be sure to align yourself with well informed resources. Never hesitate to challenge the opinions of others. Always seek to discover new knowledge for yourself. After all, there is a pretty good chance that your Grandmother is either too tired or too old to come to your rescue. Be blessed.

Corey R.

14 August - WOD

Dream chaser...

Every Monday through Friday, I arrive at my office and proceed to work my a$$ off, eight hours at a time ... chasing someone else' dream. Ten years ago, the president of our company envisioned himself starting a business that would provide a necessary service to a growing online testing community. At the outset, it was merely himself and two colleagues in pursuit of a common dream. Today, that same dream has created a revenue stream that funds the salaries of more than 50 employees and provides services for an even larger number of corporate clients. So you see, my boss has successfully recruited a plethora of others to help chase his dream.

Well, what about my dream? I mean, sure... I could potentially earn a pretty decent living in my current position. However, the fact still remains that working diligently to expand someone else' fortune will never be a self-fulfilling experience for me. Ultimately my current career path doesn't bring me any closer to obtaining my own dream. So, at what point am I supposed to "throw caution to the wind" for the sake of pursuing my own dream? It feels like I lose a little bit of myself and my dream with each passing day.

This time last year, my soul burned with a fervent passion to leave a mark on the world as an acclaimed author. Lately, I have become so immersed in workplace responsibilities (which align with someone else' vision) that it has become increasingly difficult for me to muster the necessary energy to commit to my personal dream(s). Today's "WOD" is affirmation however (for those of you who were the least bit concerned) that your boy still has a true desire to reach out to an audience through scribe. Every once in a while I just have to remind myself that my dreams are just as important as the next man's. That being said... I'm back! Be blessed.

Corey R.

12 July - WOD

Dress Rehearsal

I can still clearly recall memories of my days as a school aged boy who relished the opportunity to get dressed in his new 'back to school' threads. In the days leading up to the first day of school, I know for a fact that I would try on each new outfit at least twice daily. Back then, getting dressed up in preparation for 'the big event' always had a certain allure that I welcomed with open arms. If only life could have remained so simple and innocent.

Harsh realities of life have since tainted my perception of the 'dress-up game'. One thing we all eventually will come to grips with is the fact that life is a one and done ordeal. There are no encores as it applies to life. Some folk live their lives as if this is just a dress rehearsal. I am guilty of it myself. Some of us tip-toe through life trying not to wrinkle our crisp outfit so that hopefully it will still be in perfect condition whenever 'the big event' really occurs. Well guess what y'all, we've only got one life to live, the big event is taking place right now, whether you're ready or not. We need to be mindful not to put off until tomorrow those things that we can essentially do today.

Do you have personal goals that you have put on hold? Life dictates that you to get serious about pursuing them, right now. Do you have an estranged relationship that requires mending? Life recommends that you do it today. Tomorrow is not ours to manipulate. Have you failed to establish a rapport with some form of higher-being? Salvation mandates that you get that aspect of your life in order A.S.A.P. This is the only life you get, there are no dress rehearsals. Life is capable of fleeing just as unexpectedly as it is given. You don't need a Michael Buffer type of introduction to know that you are the star of the one life that you have been given. Dress rehearsal is for theatrical plays, this thing we call LIFE is the real McCoy. The curtains are drawn, starring actor stage right, Act one: scene one... The spotlight is on you. Now lets have your opening lines.

Corey R.

15 June - WOD

"bIg tHaNgS"

My favorite hip-hop emcee, Nasir Jones once wrote lyrics emphasizing to his adolescent friends that he could no longer participate in heinous juvenile acts because mentally he had evolved into a more responsible individual. I too have found myself standing at a crossroad as it applied to the relationships I'd held with certain long-term friends. Relationships are typically forged as a result of commonalities shared between individuals. Just as those likenesses draw you near, differences can eventually force you apart. That doesn't mean that either person is a bad individual per se... sometimes friendships run their course and people simply have to tread their own unique paths.

Chances are if you maintain the same core group of friends long enough, you'll either outgrow some of them or they will eventually outgrow you. We have to recognize that growth is inevitable. Mental elevation is influenced by life's experiences. As a result our growth spurts will almost assuredly occur at different periods than our friends. Keep in mind that change is not a bad thing; it is extremely necessary for some of us.

You should identify which lane you fit into and align yourself with others who possess a similar outlook. It’s often futile to try to change someone else' mindset. Trying to impose your will on friends usually contributes to frustration and disappointment. If you find that you are constantly annoyed by the actions, conversations, or mindset of the folk you surround yourself with, that is a tell-tale sign that a social divide has occurred. It's in your best interest to blaze a new trail. Parting ways with long-term friends is always a daunting task. Oftentimes it is a necessary step in freeing yourself to expand your horizons. Face it... perhaps it's time that you left mundane thinkers behind to set your sights on bigger thangs. Don't you agree?

Corey R.

24 May - WOD

$ex Appeal

Wise folk used to say that beauty lies within the eye of the beholder. Some folk are considered attractive by their counterparts for obvious reasons. It is so easy to admire a woman who dons a flawless smile and curvaceous body. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that such an individual would be adored by the masses. Interestingly enough, there has never been a general rule of thumb regarding Sex Appeal.

I have my own personal list of unique qualities that I find extremely sexy... above and beyond the obvious characteristics. For example, I am a sucker for a woman who possesses a confident swagger. I've observed women who possess 'average' beauty and extra-ordinary 'flavor'. The swagger that these types of women possess often elevates them to a new stratosphere of SEXY. You've seen her yourself I'm sure. She enters a venue with the poise and confidence of a wealthy hostess. She makes brief eye contact with everyone who dares stare. She knows exactly when to re-gloss her lips and of course "her lip gloss be poppin". She makes you take notice even if you don't really intend to. She's hott.

By far, one of the sexiest aspects of a woman (in my opinion) is her wardrobe. I love a versatile woman. By versatile, I mean the type of woman who can wear a nice wedge heel, strappy sandal, peep toe pump, loafer, and also knows how to choose the perfect retro sneaker for those ultra casual outfits. Please don't be misinformed, sex appeal, has absolutely nothing to do with the dollar amount spent on an ensemble nor the designer who manufactured the garment. Rather and instead it has everything to do with a woman's ability to tie an outfit together, regardless of whether it is Juicy Couture or Target. A woman's ability to make whatever she wears look jazzy is sex appeal in all of its splendor.

I also love a woman with a 'Naomi Campbell' strut. You've seen Beyonce' do it in her videos. C'mon admit it, that's a powerful tool. It's perfect for tantalizing men and pissing other women off. Ladies, if you don't have 'the strut' down pat yet, its prime time for you to start brushing up on your strut game. And perhaps this next one is a bit dated but I'm still a huge fan of the perfect 'bow-legged' stance. Something about the way a woman strides across a well populated room is alluring to me. The walk/stance combo will send my blood pressure through the roof.

Some of my miscellaneous sexy-izms include but are not limited to those women who have mastered the art of licking their lips in a sultry yet non pretentious manner. I also admire women with cute dimples and/or parentheses (the little indentations that form in the corner of her mouth when she smiles), nice toes, and a mean hairstyle (length is irrelevant). That's my take on the topic. What do you find sexy about your counterparts?

Corey R.

17 May - WOD

"She"

Stevie Wonder once wrote "That girl thinks that she's so fine, that soon she'll have my mind" Well guess what? He was right ...

Sometimes we meet folk who simply manage to intrigue us right off the bat. Ironically enough, for most people, these chance meetings usually occur when we're just minding our business; not on a quest to be intrigued by anything or anyone. My belief is that this is one of life's special gifts that reminds us that small miracles can and do occur.

"That girl thinks that she's so smart that soon she'll have my heart" ... no doubt in my mind ...

It is extremely rare to meet an individual who possesses equal inner and outer beauty. How many times have you been physically attracted to someone only to eventually learn that their attitude was "super stank"? Either she's stuck-up or he's arrogant as hell. Leaves you with an awful taste in your mouth, right? Often times we're left thinking "what a waste!!!" Occasionally, we are fortunate enough to find 'the exception to the rule'. Ever so often, we bump into a rare individual who could actually get by on their personality, intellect, conversation and 'spirit' alone. I'll dare say it is indeed an added bonus when that same person is 'easy on the eyes' as well.

"She says she keeps the upper hand, cause she can please her man" ...

Okay brothas, let's tally up her score card together ... she's smart, down to earth, personable, sharp and she has a desire to cater to her man. Oh, by the way... did I mention the fact that her beauty is breath-taking? She is absolutely stunning. "That girl" renders men in a literal daze... wondering how they can be down.

"She doesn't use her love to make him weak; she uses love to keep him strong"...

In her presence, men feel Herculean. It would be an honor to serve and nurture "that girl". Most guys would consider it a privilege to fulfill the dual roles of protector and companion to such an incredible woman. She is the stuff dreams are made of. Today's WOD is a tribute to all of my sistas out there who encompass the essence of "that girl".

You are all that and a bag'o'chips.

Corey R.

8 May - WOD

"You've got to be kidding!!!"

So this friend of mine is telling me how she really likes this dude but she can't hang out or communicate with him on a consistent basis due to a severe case of bad nerves. She goes on to tell me how this guy makes her feel like a school girl with a childish crush. She confesses that she is accustomed to associating with guys who constantly boost her confidence and make her feel in complete control of the situation at hand. This guy on the other hand, apparently has his act together and therefore he unnerves her.

Is it just me or is that pretty odd? I would give my last Yuengling to be in her shoes. I believe that we should relish rare opportunities to experience nostalgic feelings (like the ones birthed by innocent infatuation). I told her that if it were me, I'd grab hold (of the opportunity) with both hands and ride the wave until the tide subsided. Sometimes we allow our self-esteem (or lack thereof) to hinder golden opportunities. The older I get, the more I appreciate those things that re-connect me with the unparalleled fanciful moments from my childhood. The treasures of growing older are indeed a privilege. We should be thankful for wisdom and maturity, indeed. Now ask me if I'm willing to pass up an opportunity to experience youthful jubilance, one last time. Best believe my reply will be something along the lines of ... "Are you kidding me? Hell to the nah". But hey, that's just my take on the situation. What is yours?

Corey R.

27 April - WOD

Is love sufficient?

Attend any traditional wedding ceremony and I guarantee you'll hear the pastor explain the symbolism behind the exchange of rings. The moral is that the ring, (similar in fashion to the concept of love) has neither a beginning nor an ending. Continue to listen and you will also hear the pastor elaborate on how love has the ability to endure all things and manifest itself in an unconditional nature. Now spend an afternoon in your local Barnes and Nobles researching modern day divorce rates and you'll learn that the U.S. ranks #1 in divorce rates with nearly five out of every 1,000 people falling into the divorcee category. It seems almost as commonplace today for couples to divorce as it is for them to marry. Just fifty years ago, our grandparents were able to maintain life long marriages. What did they know that we don't? Think about it… similar traditions, similar vows, similar churches; different results. Does this suggest that our ancestors were better at remaining in love than we are? Is the modern day church more accepting of the ideas of separation and/or divorce? Are we more inclined to lean on our own understanding and therefore disregard the teachings of the church as it applies to marriage? Or maybe, just maybe... it requires more than love to sustain a marriage. Is love sufficient? What is your take on the subject?

Corey R.

24 April - WOD

"Matters most"

Have delinquent bills ever been the root of your stresses? Ever felt like pulling your hair out because your job was super hectic? Have you ever lost sleep wondering if your significant other would recover from your latest disagreement? Ever worked yourself into a lather wondering if the new guy you met last week at Wholefoods would eventually call? It seems we often place so much unnecessary strain on ourselves worrying over issues that are often unworthy of such burden. There are so many other, more important issues that we could devote our energy toward. For example, wouldn't it be an injustice if I devoted excess energy worrying about whether I'll ever be as wealthy as I'd like to be when I could channel that same energy to ensure that I instill positive values and morals in my son? Why should I exert more energy trying to impress the pretty girl at work than trying to do right by my own Mother? There was a time in my life when I struggled with trying to please everyone. I sought validation in others. I thought it was cool to be liked by everyone. I thank God for delivering me from that place of mental captivity. I now realize that I neither need nor desire to be on your "good side". Truth be told, there were a whole lot of folk along the way who I realized I never really liked anyway. In my opinion, family should be the cornerstone of life. That is what really matters to me. If you are constantly stressing over unworthy issues, today is as ideal a time as any to begin redirecting your energy toward those things that matter most. Be blessed.

Corey R.

20 April - WOD

Foot Fetish

I'm embarrassed to admit it but I have a ridiculous foot fetish. No, not the typical pretty, petite, neatly pedicured toes (that make most men drool) when immersed in the perfect Jimmy Choo, open toed, strappy sandal type fetish. I mean, that's a given. What man on earth can resist such a delightful image? I have a totally different and unique fetish.

"Hello, my name is Corey and I'm addicted to Retro Air Jordan sneakers. It all started back in '88 when Nike released the 3rd edition of Michael Jordan's popular basketball sneaker to the general public. I still remember how my very first pair of AJs made me feel like I was walking on air. Not literally but figuratively of course. Ever since then, I've been a fiend for MJ's signature sneaks. As a youth, I thought eventually I'd outgrow my addiction. I know now that I was in way over my head. Some folk drink incessantly, some people smoke maad weed. Me, I’m intoxicated by "flyness". I've owned countless pairs. I've even purchased my favorite editions 2, 3, 5 and 11 multiple times. When it comes to casual apparel, nothing parallels a fresh pair of vintage Air Jordan classics on my feet. Air force Ones are cool and shell toe Adidas are nice but no brand comes within a basketball's circumference of my Air Jordans. I'll likely be the first 50 year old dude still collecting sneakers. "What you want me to do. I'm sorry!" We've all got vices. However silly it may be, at least mine is an innocent one, right?

Corey R.

16 April -WOD

"Flow-gevity" - the mastery of fluidity; synchronized. Near perfect; finely tuned.


Good afternoon beloved. Over the weekend I celebrated my birthday. It also marked the first time that I officially opened the doors of my home to my extended family. I'd spent weeks preparing for the event as I wanted everything to flow smoothly. I worried occasionally that my petite quarters would not be able to comfortably accommodate the large number of individuals who planned to attend. Initially, I planned to use my back yard area as a means to better distribute my guests. Unfortunately, Mother Nature made alternative plans. Due to inclement weather, it ended up being a 100% indoor event with more attendees than I originally anticipated. Amazingly enough, while I was busy trying to figure out a solution, God had already worked it out yall. As it turned out nobody was crammed, there was plenty of space, entertainment, food and beverages to go around. At one point, per my Mother's request we even pulled back the living room rug and allowed the ladies to get their line dance on. Without question, this was my best birthday ever. Everyone seemed to have a wonderful time. Some of the fellas gathered in the basement to duel it out on the ping pong table. Some guests let their spades skills do the talking on the card table. Still others congregated in the kitchen to debate about the top 5 hip-hop albums of all time. Lovely ladies galore played Taboo, ate crabs, and stepped in the name of love. Many guests conversed amongst themselves as they ate, drank, and fellow-shipped. This convocation of loved ones was extremely precious to me. I consider it a blessing to be able to look in any direction (at any given moment) and see a group of my very favorite people in all the world. It would be rare to reproduce the assembly of that exact collection of loved ones ever again. I thank the Lord for allowing my celebration to far exceed my greatest expectations. I prayed that everyone would enjoy themselves. God took it a step further and granted "flow-gevity" instead.

Corey R.

9 April - WOD

"So happy for You"

How many times have you divulged positive information to a friend and in return heard them say how happy for you they were? It's commonplace to hear folk say it but it's a rarity to actually know someone who genuinely means it. I'm a firm believer that actions speak louder than words. If you ever want to really find out whether an individual is merely extending cheap talk or if he/she is authentic, try recruiting that person's services for a chore or project. Anyone who truly has your back will not only accept your invitation but they will also work just as diligently as you to tackle the task at hand. Some folk are good at saying all the right things at the right times. Others are "grinders". They don't talk about it ... they just jump right in and make things happen. So the next time you tell someone you're happy for them, make sure your actions are prepared to support your words.

Corey R.

4 April - WOD

"Scantily clad"

Set your television remote to any music video channel in this day and time and it's likely you'll see countless voluptuous, drop dead gorgeous women dancing and/or parading around your high-definition, flat panel screen wearing next to nothing at all. Many women take offense to this "misogynistic" portrayal of their female counterparts. Like many men, I've always admired the Greek "goddess-like" images that gyrated and convulsed right before my very eyes. In my opinion, that was the closest I'd ever come to dancing with the girl of my dreams. At the same time, I can understand how those images could be viewed as racy, scandalous, or inappropriate depending upon the audience. I neither condone nor condemn the individuals that produce these videos. I'm simply an individual with an option to either watch the video or change the channel... nothing more, no less.

Ladies, I have a question for you all. Many women are Beyonce fans. I too am a huge supporter of Beyonce Knowles. I'd like to know why it is considered 'Diva-like' when Beyonce and her super sexy dancers jiggle and titillate on our television screen. In my opinion, Beyonce is as sexy and enticing as any hip-hop video dancer. She dresses just as provocatively, she dances circles around the average video girl, and she certainly doesn't lack anything in the “bootylicious” department. Clearly she envelopes everything that a hip-hop dancer does and pulls it off quite nicely, if I may say so myself. What is the difference ladies? Why is it deemed sexy when "B." does it and stank when hip-hop stars employ video vixens? Speak now or forever hold your two-piece.

Corey R.

28 March - WOD

"Know me like that"

Recently, I bumped into a friend I hadn't seen since we attended college together. She mentioned how nice it was for her to converse with someone who actually knows "the real her". Based on our conversation, it seems that her career path has propelled her into a stratosphere of celebrity and facade. She commented on the fact that many of her peers would claim that they truly know her yet the majority of them don't even know her government name. Initially, I just listened as she vented and didn’t give the discussion too much energy, either way. After further processing her comments, I started to recall the fond feelings that accompany those moments spent with non-pretentious folk who had taken the time to get to really know me.

Let’s face it, most folk wear two faces. We each have a professional mask and we have a personal face. The professional mask is a slightly doofus, phony smile “is it payday yet?” face. The personal face is a more authentic “pour me a glass of wine and turn that up, that’s my song right there” face that better depicts the ‘you’ that only your loved ones are granted access to. In a nutshell, most people master the art of role-playing. That’s fine. After all, not everyone deserves to get acquainted with the up close and personal you. I have to agree with my friend that it’s always nice to escape individuals who really “don’t know me like that”. After spending 40 + hours per week in my professional mask, it sure is refreshing to take that face off and just be regular ole me. Can you relate?

Corey R.

13 March - WOD

“Letting go”

Recently I attended the funeral of an estranged loved one. It was quite a surreal experience. I sat attentively in the front row of the funeral parlor staring into a casket filled with the shell of a being whose spirit, in my opinion, fled the scene long before any physical death ever occurred. As I peered at the stoic corpse, all I could feel was NOTHING. There was an emptiness that consumed me because of a disconnect that took place more than 25 years ago. It almost felt as if I were merely an outsider… like some sort of onlooker. Under normal circumstances, when a family member perishes we tend to experience bouts of sadness as we realize that this is the fork in the road were we must temporarily part ways.

To this day, I still can't distinguish whether I was paralyzed more by the thoughts of the opportunities that my father allowed to fall by the wayside or by the notion that it would kill me if my own son sat at my funeral and couldn't muster even two positive memories of our times together. As I paid my final respects to a father I never truly knew, I had to constantly remind myself that his siblings and my Grandmother have been sufficient in spite of his void. Some might say that he had a legitimate excuse seeing how he's been a drug addict for the greater portion of my life. How could he possibly be responsible for his children when in the grand scheme of things he couldn't even take care of himself? As the pastor preached from a makeshift alter, her words pierced my soul like a hot knife through melted butter. Her words still resound vividly in my ears. "God's got him ... rest now, you all can let go".

My definition of letting go differs greatly from my Grandmother, my Aunts and my Uncle. I had to let go of animosity. I had to let go of the armor lining that hugged my heart. I had to make peace with the fact that my father was less than capable of being a responsible parent. Ultimately, I had to let go of my father’s transgressions. Although I've let go of old frustration, I hold firmly to my determination to strive constantly to be a loving father, motivator, supporter, and consistent presence in the life of my lone offspring. So I’m happy to say that “today is a new day, I let go of yesterday”. Be blessed.

Corey R.

6 March - WOD

"Shorty said..."

I had a talk with a dear friend that sounded something like this
Shorty hollered we dig one another right, so why not seal it with a kiss?
So I’m like dagg if I kiss shorty, she might get it misconstrued
Like she's my princess, my “baby girl” and I’m her most official dude.

So I think really quickly on my toes as not to be rude and flat out tell shorty No!
Then I gently kiss her on the cheek and "would you look at the time... I'm sorry but I really must go"
Had to learn the hard way that to most girls a kiss is never 'just a kiss'
It usually bears a far deeper meaning like "this could maybe end in marital bliss".

So nowadays I’m far more cautious of what I say and do
Cause I fear someday having a daughter ... you know they say it all comes back around to you
Instead I say "listen Ma, I’ve got no problems taking things super slow
And if that pace doesn't sit well with you then by all means feel free to say so
... But then I'll likely suggest that you just go.

See I refuse to allow any woman to expend valuable energy and time with me
Under the pretense that I’ll feel some type of way about her eventually
So I tell shorty that if she’s fine with us spending one priceless moment at a time then that's great
But if she’s on the market for a fiancé, husband, or life-mate…
It’ll probably benefit her in the long run to just wait and we should no longer date.

Sorry shorty I’m simply not interested in fulfilling such a role at this point in my life
Promise not to sell you a pipedream only later to cause you added stress or strife.
So what I’m saying to shorty is I just want us to remain friends
Can’t promise that my views of our relationship will change in the end.

I like us the way we are but hey, you have to be happy too
So I will suck it up and step aside so you can feel free to do you
Can you believe that shorty wants my two cent on what she should do?
I’m like "nah shorty I can only tell you what I feel and the rest is completely up to you”.

After all, it’s not my place to decide what is in someone else's best interest
Shorty says "it's like you could care less what I do" and I’m like "that's truly not the case but... more or less".

Am I wrong for that?

Corey R.

27 Feb - WOD

Snow days

Am I the only person who marvels at the manner in which a snow storm can render an entire metropolis helpless? Think about it, meteorologists begin tracking the path of a storm days in advance. People flock to nearby grocery stores to stock up on food, shovels and salt for their walkways. Schools and government agencies shut down in anticipation of a wintry precipitation. Eventually as promised ...the powdery, white substance blankets our streets, cars, homes, and everything else within panoramic eye shot. Then for at least a few moments in time, everything around us seems still, calm, unhurried... tame even.

What if you had the ability to create your own snow days? Are your project deadlines at work beginning to consume you ... perfect time for a snow day. Do your students make you feel nauseous... sounds like snow day material to me. Is your cuddle buddy considering going home (to his/her own place) for a couple of days... bring on the snow. Shamefully, the busy body in you would likely prevent you from sitting still long enough to even take advantage of a nice relaxing snow day. Sunday felt as if it were my first true snow day in ages. I didn't concern myself with housework, preparation for the work week ahead, recreation, relationships, or any of my normal routines. I simply enjoyed the opportunity to do absolutely nothing. Every once in a while I welcome a snow day to mellow my otherwise hectic regimen. You might want to do the same. But since today is not one of those snow days, it's probably in both of our best interest to return to doing something productive.

Corey R.

13 Feb - WOD

"Free Pass"

In the spirit of Black History Month, I have spent a great deal of time reflecting upon the single most coveted inalienable right sought by our ancestors... FREEDOM. I find it ironic that historically, freedom has never actually come without tremendous cost to our kinfolk. Our ancestors sacrificed limbs, lives, and other immeasurable losses in pursuit of the sweet taste of freedom.

Fast forward to modern day 21st century, AD and many of us still find ourselves caught in some form of personal bondage. Perhaps you are chained to the shackles of your very own financial holding cell. Maybe you are stranded on lover's Alcatraz. It could be that you are an inmate of 'workplace penitentiary' ... stuck in a piss poor job situation and lacking the skill set to make yourself more marketable. Maybe you are a 'Vice City' convict... constantly held captive by a personal vice such as gambling, drugs, sex, money, etc. Regardless of what the issue is that arrests your freedom, one thing holds true in every situation; you will eventually be forced to sacrifice something significant in order to obtain the freedom you seek.

Our forefathers did not toil on our behalf so that we could later neglect our right to freedom. As the descendants of such strong willed individuals, we need to remain steadfast in our quest to relinquish personal bondage. I leave you with a two fold rhetorical question to ponder: What is your personal captor and are you willing to make the sacrifice(s) necessary to obtain freedom? "Let freedom ring!"

Corey R.

25 Jan - WOD (might need to read Me twice)

Green Thumb

What if life were a garden? Wait a second… before you laugh at the fact that a man is equating life to something as “un-masculine” as a garden, bear in mind God gave Adam a garden to tend even before he provided him with a companion. Now, as I was saying … if life were a garden, do you think you would possess the ability to properly irrigate and cultivate your greenery so that it could flourish?

Some individuals believe that the key to successfully nourishing life's garden lies in first understanding that one cannot apply the same treatment to all foliage. Take for instance your career (Amaryllis) . You should be mindful that Amaryllis requires temperatures between 41-50 Fahrenheit and consistent nourishment but will not require nearly as much exposure to direct sunlight as your personal relationships (Madagascar Jasmine) which requires much warmer temperatures, significant watering and tender handling to avoid bruising. Madagascar Jasmine is an alias for the flower's Greek name Stephanotis which translates to 'happiness in marriage'. Is there any surprise that this flower would require extreme care and delicacy?

Conversely, your recreation or hobby (Delphinium) will need ample exposure to both sunlight and water in order to achieve the remarkable shape that it is often noted for. Quite obviously, no one could ever truly reap the benefits of a balanced lifestyle without first sewing a spiritual seed. Your Spirituality (Zinna) which is commonly referred to as “Youth to Old Age” (because of its multiple layers) requires consistent light, heat, water and nourishment. Just as Zinna has many layers so does your spirituality. Your spiritual growth is a constant evolution in progress. Tend to your Zinna with care and caution and take notice as new layers begin to develop. If you possess the cognizance to provide proper amounts of light (God), heat (Love), water (Wisdom), and nourishment (Knowledge) to your garden (Life), chances are you already have a green thumb (others envy your lifestyle).

Corey R.

17 Jan - WOD

"Toothache"

Okay, so I've been thinking about something the pastor of a church I once frequented used to say. I thought it was an accurate yet ironic concept the first time I heard him say it. I believe it goes something like this ... ‘May God irritate you until you have the desire to change your circumstances'. Interesting, right? Think about it ... how many times have you taken inventory of your life only to realize that there are various facets that agitate you to no end yet you continue to tolerate them? Inspiration for change comes in many disguises. Unfortunately, many of us have developed an extremely high tolerance for irritation and dysfunction. My Grandmother often says to me "baby, my hip is hurtin' me like a toothache". That saying took on a whole new perspective after I actually experienced my first toothache. One thing is for certain; I was on the phone with my dentist's office that same day scheduling an appointment to remove that agitating tooth. So for those of you who can't find the necessary inspiration to alter your agitating circumstances; May God provide your situation with a toothache that you can no longer ignore. Be blessed.

Corey R.

16 Jan - WOD

Believe it or not

Good morning beloved. I'm super excited today. You see ... yesterday I pulled off the Porsche dealership lot with a navy blue, 2007 convertible Carrera. That's right! Last week, a huge lawsuit settlement that I'd been waiting for finally cashed in. Your boy is set. Sorry everyone but unfortunately there will be no more Words of the Day for a while. I'm going on a well deserved vacation to Belize followed by Morocco, and then The Turks and Caicos Islands. See yall in March!!! Now... if yall believed that one, I could tell you at least a dozen more just like it.

Do you know anyone who is notorious for fabricating fictitious accounts? It never ceases to amaze me how some folk expend potentially useful energy conjuring up untrue flights of fancy. Ever notice how initially these people seem to provide a certain form of entertainment for the masses. We know they're full of BS but we love to hear what these jokers will come up with next. Eventually though an intelligent audience will sour towards these fallacious antics.

How is it that these folk never realize their own transparency? Before long everyone is laughing at them; nobody is laughing with them. I've even witnessed extreme circumstances where a habitual liar has tried to incorporate an innocent party into his/her lies. I'm the wrong person to try that business with because I'll blow up the spot and tell everyone that I don't recall that situation ever taking place. It's one thing if you want to be a habitual liar but leave me out of your nonsense. What if we started pulling the cards of our lying friends? What if we flat out told them "STOP LYING!"? Do you think it would make a difference? If we never pull his/her card, are we perpetuating the problem? What do you think?

Corey R.

10 Jan - WOD

Eye knew better...

How many times has your intuition proven reliable? Some people might attribute their keen instincts to rare psychic abilities while others charge it to life's experiences. Almost as astounding as our foresight is our own ability to disregard it. That's right... many of us have found ourselves enthralled in countless unfortunate situations simply because we made a conscious decision to disregard our initial instinct. Even the sharpest of folk have fallen victim to lack of sound judgment at some point in time.

I don't know about you but one thing that has consistently held true for me is that whenever I've disregarded my instinct I've wound up in regretful territory. Chances are if you've ever ignored your mind's eye then you too have had to deal with regret. So is it that we are all gluttons for punishment or are we just disobedient by nature? If in fact our intuition is often accurate; why then does it take for us to find ourselves in adverse circumstances before we realize that we knew better all along? What do you think?

Corey R.

4 Jan - WOD

Resolve - to come to a definite or earnest decision about; determine (to do something): I have resolved that I shall love unconditionally.

This is typically the time of year when people begin to make New Year’s resolutions. That is a wonderful concept. Unfortunately, many of us hit a wall some time around mid February. The key to setting a successful resolution is choosing an obtainable goal. We all have aspects of our lives that could use some fine tuning. It is important that we remain mindful that it takes 14 days to formulate a habit. This also means that we cannot be expected to break an old habit over night. We must take small, concise steps in order to gradually achieve our goals. It is also beneficial to have an effective support system. Friends and loved ones often make excellent motivators. The initial spark however has to spawn from within you. This year, make it a point to be realistic when setting your goals. Surround yourself with positive and motivated folk. Remember to allow a little slack for lapses. Stay fast to the course and seize your reward. Happy New Year! Be Blessed.

Corey R.