11 March 09 - WOD

ChAsInG dA SuN...

I can vividly recall being a young dude, riding in the back seat of my mom's Toyota Celica. I would pull my plastic sunshades snuggly down over my eyes and firmly affix my determined stare towards the sun. It was fascinating to me that as we drove upon extended stretches of highway, the sun appeared to be racing against our car. I use to think that eventually we'd catch up to the sun. Somehow, that magnificent ball of fire managed to keep us at a distance well beyond arm's reach. What I initially perceived as a race had ultimately transcended into an all out chase. Stay with me y'all, I'm going somewhere with this; I promise!

Fast forward 20 years and find me in hot pursuit yet again. Only this time, I'm chasing the attention of my estranged ex-girlfriend. You see, just a few months prior ... we'd officially severed ties and went our separate ways. There's an old adage that says "an idle mind is the devil's workplace". Spending excess time alone with nothing but TIME to think had left me feeling the urge to rekindle those old flames. To this day, I'm still not sure whether my notions of reconciliation were prompted by the spirit of loneliness or whether I sincerely wanted to give our expired relationship one last ditch effort. That's neither here nor there. Ultimately, I attempted to force my way back in the door. Except just then, my ex wasn't having any part of that idea.

I learned an important lesson during that phase in my life. I learned that while I was involved knee deep in a race against time, trying to salvage my ship-wrecked relationship. My ex-SIG was determined that what she needed most was time and space. Eventually, it occurred to me that I was on a wild goose chase. Talk about counter-productive! Still not pickin' up what I'm puttin' down, huh? Okay, lemme give it to y'all on a dummy's level. Its often in your best effort to back off when your love interest tells you that they need time and space to map out their next move. Crowding their space will only push them further away. If you don't get anything else out of my message, please gEt tHiS nExT pOinT ... we don't live long enough to experience all of life's hard lessons for ourselves. It is advantageous to learn from the experiences of others, as often as possible. Take it from me or cHaSe dA sUn 4eVeR mOrE.

Corey R.

10 March 09 - WOD

mAn oH MaN...

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child,
I understood as a child,
I thought as a child,
but when I became a man I put away childish things."

So today, a grown azz man stands before you;
A man made sTrOnGeR as a result of the trials I've toiled through

Motivated, Assertive, and Never wavering, not even for acceptance sake;
Handles grown man B.I. & stays on point, "PoWeR MoVe" is my middle name

No doubt I've confronted the challenge of raising a son, and could probably mentor yours too;
Intellectual dude, willing to teach any young brotha about the stuff that a true gentleman should do

Real men don't wreck homes, we establish them instead ... one fortified brick at a time;
We know how to treat a lady and never hesitate to let it be known that she constantly stays on our mind

A man in his purest essence is a leader, yet he knows when to relinquish control;
That's why I'm never afraid to appear vulnerable, here I am LOVE ... mind, body, and soul

A man understands how to stand on his own, but realizes sHe makes him much better;
So he shows his appreciation by giving foot rubs and surprising her with secret LuV letters

A man doesn't make excuses about how the sYsTeM kept him from going afar;
A man knows full well that its in complete darkness that you best see the LUSTER of a true star.

To build, protect, guide and provide are the primary objectives of a man;
Thankful that even despite the absence of a father, these principles I still understand.

When you look at me, what you should see is 100 percent MAN;
And even if you can't recognize, I know more than a few gOoD folk who can.

Molds And Navigates, Meets A Need;
Mends And Nurtures, follows GOD's lead

Now that boiz and ghurls, is MY definition of a real mAn;
I'm offering cOaCh cLaSS for those of you who still don't understand.

Corey R

5 March 09 - WOD

"tHe uN4giVeN"

The dictionary defines the term fOrGiVe as follows:

for-give /[fer-giv]

– verb
1. to gRaNt pArDoN for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2. to gIVe uP aLL cLaIm oN aCCoUnT oF; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3. to cEaSe tO fEEl rEsEnTmENt aGaINsT.
4. to cAnCeL aN iNdEbTEdnEsS oR liAbILiTy oF.

The ideal of forgiveness, from my personal experience ... has always been one of the most difficult to subscribe to. Clearly, I've fractured a relationship rule or two, over the years. I think its safe to say that not one of us is transgression free. We've all sought forgiveness for an indiscretion, at some point in time. In most cases, whether the infraction was committed by us or against us, we've likely set out to proceed with a forgiving mindset. The problem occurs however when we say that we forgive yet fail to truly LET GO of the negative energies that are bound to the initial malevolent deed.

There is an important question which needs to be asked of oneself when faced with the task of forgiving a SIG. That question is: do I have the ability to actually forgive this individual and LeT gO of all ill feelings forever? If the answer is not an absolute YES, then its likely that you are not ready to speak the words "I forgive you". Its actually okay if you're not ready to put the matter behind you. What's not cool is to claim forgiveness yet constantly regurgitate the event(s) whenever you feel inclined to do so.

The act of forgiveness entails two facets. The first mandates that the fOrGiVeR come to grips with the fact that he/she will likely have to spend a significant amount of time reestablishing tRusT as it applies to the SIG who has violated them. The second facet requires that the fOrGiVeR must also be willing to proceed in the relationship while leaving his/her partner's transgressions in the proverbial rear-view mirror. In order to ensure a successful recovery, the violated party has to whole-heartedly embrace the "sHoRt-TeRm mEmOry" syndrome. I realize that this can prove to be an extremely tough pill to swallow. The fact remains that in situations like these, it is just as important to forget as it is forgive. Pardon the temporary pessimism ... but if you're not willing to forget about the situation, it's highly likely that you'll struggle in the forgiveness arena.

My logic is this:

To thine own self be TRUE. By this I mean ... if you know in your heart of hearts that 2 weeks, 4 months, or even 5 years later, you're still likely to fEeL sOmE kInDa wAy about the offense that your SIG has committed, do both of y'all a favor ... pack yo' ISH and get to moo-movin'. No need to torture either partner any further. However, If you do decide to forgive, PLEASE do just that. Make peace with the situation and lEt gO of the baggage. Holla if y'all hear me!!!

Corey R.