29 Nov - WOD

"Second Childhood"

Every now and again, I have to step back and marvel at how much fun I have watching my son grow into a budding young champion. Not just a champion in the usual sense of the word. He’s a champion by virtue of academics, uniqueness, charisma, and athletics as well. Much of my childhood is a blur, at this point in my life. My mother often reminds me that I was quite the rambunctious little guy. She tells me that she used to have to put a child's harness and leash around my waist to ensure that I didn't wander off. I see the same characteristics in my son. He's such an independent young man that he often wants to explore well beyond the imposed boundaries. I admire his passion to discover new horizons as well as his fearless nature. Since I can't clearly recall what I was like at age seven, I often wonder if he gets his boldness from his Dad.

My son is literally a mini me... only he’s much sharper. He's faster, more athletic, better looking, a much better dancer, and smarter than I was at his age. I wonder if he knows how much of a fan he has in me. I find myself laughing as he sings and dances in the back seat of my car. Many times, our conversations amaze me. Although I maintain a poker face; I often am quite astonished by his thoughts, ideas, and reactions at such an early age. As I watch from the sidelines, I can't help but celebrate his competitive play on both the gridiron and hardwood. I cry on the inside as I watch him agonize over a dropped pass, a missed shot, or a defeat. He dreads losing. I know full well where he get that competitive nature from. I too was a sore loser... still am, actually.

There have been days where I felt like parenthood was the toughest job on earth. As I watch my lil man flourish into a young Prince, it feels like God is giving me a front row seat at a panoramic rerun of my own youth. I don't have childhood memories of scoring my first touchdown at age seven, making my first shot on a regulation basketball goal at age five, or out dancing all the grown-ups at a wedding reception at age six... mainly because I never did any of those things. Glory be to God, I know what all of those accomplishments feel like firsthand, thanks to my young clone. Children can either keep us young or make us feel really old. I can’t speak for others but my son makes me feel like I'm in my second childhood and I swear it couldn't be sweeter. Be blessed.

Corey R.

27 Nov - WOD

"Who cares?"

In order to fully realize the subconscious stigma that is typical of the average U.S. citizen, one might actually need to venture beyond North American borders. I found it astounding to observe how the most affluent country in the world (United States) also holds the title as the country with the lowest self-esteem. Think about it; only in America are the natives preoccupied with how we are perceived by others. In many tourist cities, countries, and continents afar… the natives appear far more comfortable in their own skin. I've made a conscious effort to observe the culture and behaviors of the natives of each destination that I've visited outside of U.S soil. Interestingly enough, citizens of foreign countries seem to possess far more self-love than the typical U.S. citizen.

Allow me to provide a perfect example. Have you ever noticed how American's are self-conscious about the type of swimwear we choose? American women who feel that they are overweight will wear a bathing suit with a wrap skirt, or a tee shirt to cover up, while on the beach. Similarly an American man, who feels that he is too thin, will likely choose to wear a tank top and long shorts. Our foreign counterparts are exactly the opposite. I've observed through my travels that regardless of shape or size, most non-U.S. citizens are comfortable donning a two-piece thong bikini and/or Speedo trunks; no wrap skirt, no towel, no baggy tee shirt, no tank top, and no aqua shoes required.

What has caused us to place these self-imposed limitations upon ourselves? Who says that we have to be a perfect ten in order to be comfortable and free to expose our true selves? I've realized that one of our biggest character flaws is the fact that we care too much about what others think of us. Interestingly enough, people who genuinely love themselves usually have no problem getting others to follow suit. The way I see it is … as long as we continue to love ourselves, we need not waste valuable time with the preoccupation of others’ opinions of us? Be blessed.

Corey R.

10 Nov - WOD

“Shall we dance? - Pt II”

Note: Dance Etiquette Tips from yesterday and today’s WOD appear courtesy of www.swdance.com

Okay ladies, as promised, here are a few key pointers that should help you glide across the dance floor of life…

Dance Etiquette Tip 1. If he's a beginner be patient with him, he's still learning.

C-Luv Parallel - Ladies, please recognize that it is extremely difficult for brother's to admit to not being experienced in any department. If you ever want your man to be comfortable taking lessons from you; then you have to be sensitive to the male ego as he struggles to come up to speed.

DET2. No talking to him while he's learning a new pattern.

CLP - Sisters, this rule is vital. You must understand that effective communication means knowing when to strike up a conversation. Sometimes, silence is golden.

DET3. Do not EVER compare your partner to the teacher. The instructor does this as a profession; of course he can lead you.

CLP - Celebrate your man's positive attributes and support him as he strives to strengthen his weaknesses. You partnered with this man for a reason(s). Don't compare him to the guy you left behind. Besides, if your ex was that great a dancer; the two of you would still be two stepping, in harmony.

DET4. Do not refuse to dance with one gentleman and then accept a dance with another for the same dance. Sit it out. He may become a better dancer, but he will never ask you again. You may miss out in the long run.

CLP – Tact is always vital when dealing with others. You have the right to be selective about choosing a partner. That’s your prerogative. Understand however that men have feelings too. So let the brother off easy. What if the dancing shoe were on the other foot? Wouldn’t you appreciate a cordial declination?

DET5. As hard as this may be, keep time with your partner. Yes, even if he is off-time. It will be much easier to follow his lead, and he will eventually learn the correct rhythm. Remember, he has much more to learn than you do, and your patience will be greatly appreciated, perhaps even rewarded later.

CLP - Ladies, it's obvious when you're the more experienced partner in the relationship. Learn to resist the urge to strut your stuff, from time to time. Playing the naive or novice role is the equivalent of stroking your man's ego… plus it’s sexy too.

DET6. In your effort to be light, you may give him "puppy dog" hands and spaghetti arms. Don't; this gives him nothing to lead with. He needs tone in your arms and hands to move you.

CLP - Certainly you're capable of taking the lead. Unfortunately that's not the role that was designed for the female partner. Just as a man has to understand what it means to be a qualified leader; a woman must be able to recognize that she is partnered with a bonafide leader. Relax; your leader is willing to consider your input when it comes to navigating y’alls course.

Oh snap… the deejay’s playin’ my song…“Step to the left, step to the right, spin around and break it down tonight”. Can a brotha get a dance partner? Be blessed.

Corey R.

9 Nov - WOD

"Shall we dance? - Part 1"

I have long since drawn a parallel between ballroom dancing and acceptable male vs. female interaction. Today's WOD will hopefully depict (for my brothers) the similarities between the two. I conducted a little research to support my theory and I found this list of dance tips and etiquette that should prove helpful for any gentleman.

Dance Etiquette Tip 1. Hold her hand and lead her onto the dance floor. Don't grip her hand, and don't use her as your bumper at ANY time. This means while walking on & off the floor, and especially while you're dancing!

C-Luv Parallel - Men who are blessed to walk hand in hand with a special woman have been presented with a precious gift. In honoring your Queen, you need to be mindful of valuing her personal space. You are not authorized to make space invasions.

DET2. Lead her off the dance floor, and return her to where you found her. She will be so surprised at these few moments of courtesy, she will remember you.

CLP - Fellas, you will eventually come to terms with the idea that even though she did not turn out to be your soul mate; it is still your responsibility to ensure that upon your departure from that women's life, you leave her in an equal or better position than when you entered into her life. Good men should build not destroy.

DET3. Lead her, move her, it's OK.

CLP - Gentlemen, in order for a true Queen to follow your lead; you must first prove yourself to be a worthy King.

DET4. Don't grip her shoulder blade. That's not what it was made for.

CLP - Give her room to flow freely. She knows who she is as well as whose she is. Real men don't have to keep their woman on lock down.

DET5. While she's doing a turn, wait until you see the white's of her eyes before you bring down her arm. She's vulnerable while turning.

CLP - It's imperative to provide a sense of security for the special woman in your life. Let her know that you're durable enough to support her even when she feels most vulnerable.

DET6. Do not EVER compare her to the instructor. Your instructor can follow because she's a professional.

CLP - Each woman is her own person. Comparing your woman to a former love interest is never a good look. Appreciate her uniqueness. Applaud her talents. Accept her imperfections. She’s likely had to do the same for you.

DET7. The lady ALWAYS determines how close you get. You may not get another dance with her if you insist on body contact.

CLP - Reflect back to your drivers education course. Keep your hands in 10 o'clock and 2 o’clock formation until you get accustomed to driving such a luxury vehicle. Always maintain a safe trailing distance. You never know when you will be required to slam on your brakes. Seriously though, being a good leader means first understanding how to follow. She’ll let you know when it’s okay to encroach. Wait for her signal.

DET8. You are responsible for the lady's safety. Do not perform a move that sends her into the wall or into another couple. Ladies' heels are very sharp, no one wants to be stepped on or bumped into.

CLP - Bruh, it's your duty to make that woman feel secure at all times. Women shoulder the weight of the world; most of the time. The last thing she should ever have to wonder is whether she's secure in your arms. (figuratively and literally)

Now, without further ado… “separate, bring it back… now lemme see U do the Luv slide”. I’ll be back to holla at my ladies tomorrow. Be blessed.

Corey R.

8 Nov - WOD

"Over Think-ative"

Are you one of those folk who tend to over analyze every incident? Do you place more emphasis on the potential outcome of an event than you do on enjoying the actual experience? Do you oftentimes find it difficult to relinquish control over a given situation? Why can't you simply "Let it do what it do, Baby"? If these are attributes that you possess, I think it's safe to say that you might be a tad bit "over think-ative". That's a phrase I created to describe individuals like you who simply think too much.

I'm sure some of you will argue that it's important to be observant of your surrounding circumstances. I whole-heartedly agree with that statement. There is a significant difference however between being observant and being obsessive compulsive. As adults we should all be cognizant of making well thought out decisions. After all, responsibility is supposed to be a prerequisite for adulthood. At the same time, it's super important to take full advantage of those priceless moments in life that simply take our breath away.

So many times we question whether a good situation is "too good to be true". That is an absolute insane thought, in my opinion. Many of us wait an eternity and never experience bliss. I don't know about you but I'm not greedy so I'll even accept temporary bliss. Why on Earth would I ever question or over analyze any situation that offers exactly what my heart has always desired? Here's an idea... perhaps one of you "over think-ative" folk can answer that question on my behalf. In the meanwhile, I'll be somewhere enjoying my tailor made slice of ecstasy. Be blessed.

Corey R.

7 Nov - WOD

"Chicken and Waffles"

If I recall correctly... 10 years ago was the approximate first time I'd heard of the popular Los Angeles restaurant, Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles. At the time, I remember thinking to myself "that’s a strange combination". Surely I'd heard of fried chicken and French fries or even sausage, eggs and waffles but never had I imagined combining poultry with a breakfast battercake. Now, merely a decade later, many others have adopted this idea. Today, chicken and waffles are as commonplace a combination as beer nuts and bar stools.

It's interesting the way life often imitates art. Look at some of the other unlikely combinations that we've witnessed over the years... there's Eminem and Elton John, denim jeans and sports coats, pineapples and pizza, and we can't forget about Jermaine Dupri and Ms. Jackson. Amazingly enough, we've grown accustomed to all of these combinations as a result of having witnessed them on a consistent basis. One thing that all these pairs have in common is that they've blazed unchartered trails. Isn't it amazing how all of these tandems, which began with their fair share of skeptics, have prospered into highly successful collaborations?

Can you imagine if we all applied the chicken and waffles concept to our lives by venturing to do something outside of the norm? Most folk stay true to their comfort zone. Many of us are hesitant to journey beyond our preset boundaries for fear that others will perceive us in an unacceptable fashion. We often limit our own potential when we fail to take stabs at being unique, uncommon or bleeding edge. The next time you decide to conform to the status quo as opposed to partnering with some innovative concept; I offer the following example as incentive: Once upon a time Kadeem Hardison a.k.a "Dwayne Wayne" decided to push the envelope and ask the very lovely and talented Ms. Chante Moore out on a date. One year later she recorded the song "Chante's got a man", in his honor. Colossal dreams sprout from big visions. So now, would you like Waffles with that order? Or are you going to simply settle for being a big Chicken for the remainder of your life? Be blessed.

Corey R.