I had a talk with a dear friend that sounded something like this
Shorty hollered we dig one another right, so why not seal it with a kiss?
So I’m like dagg if I kiss shorty, she might get it misconstrued
Like she's my princess, my “baby girl” and I’m her most official dude.
So I think really quickly on my toes as not to be rude and flat out tell shorty No!
Then I gently kiss her on the cheek and "would you look at the time... I'm sorry but I really must go"
Had to learn the hard way that to most girls a kiss is never 'just a kiss'
It usually bears a far deeper meaning like "this could maybe end in marital bliss".
So nowadays I’m far more cautious of what I say and do
Cause I fear someday having a daughter ... you know they say it all comes back around to you
Instead I say "listen Ma, I’ve got no problems taking things super slow
And if that pace doesn't sit well with you then by all means feel free to say so
... But then I'll likely suggest that you just go.
See I refuse to allow any woman to expend valuable energy and time with me
Under the pretense that I’ll feel some type of way about her eventually
So I tell shorty that if she’s fine with us spending one priceless moment at a time then that's great
But if she’s on the market for a fiancé, husband, or life-mate…
It’ll probably benefit her in the long run to just wait and we should no longer date.
Sorry shorty I’m simply not interested in fulfilling such a role at this point in my life
Promise not to sell you a pipedream only later to cause you added stress or strife.
So what I’m saying to shorty is I just want us to remain friends
Can’t promise that my views of our relationship will change in the end.
I like us the way we are but hey, you have to be happy too
So I will suck it up and step aside so you can feel free to do you
Can you believe that shorty wants my two cent on what she should do?
I’m like "nah shorty I can only tell you what I feel and the rest is completely up to you”.
After all, it’s not my place to decide what is in someone else's best interest
Shorty says "it's like you could care less what I do" and I’m like "that's truly not the case but... more or less".
Am I wrong for that?
Corey R.
7 comments:
There's no substitute for the truth either it is or it isn't period.
T
Not at all....honesty is always the way to go. You might want to soften the edges a bit, but I'd rather hear an honest response now than later...Keep it up!
Being honest is the best thing you can be. You're not responsible for the actions another takes. If more men treated women this way so many lies would die and truth would reign. If a man is truthful then a women can make a well informed decision, but it is her decision to make. We all react to one another, sometimes our reactions come with prejudice harboring from past experiences but mostly the reaction is generated from the situation at hand. When one is upfront and truthful with another then games, mischief, disguise and deceit can be cast aside; true emotions and feeling can be confronted and expressed.
No your not wrong for having someone make-up their own mind and decide for one's self as long as you are honest your covered the rest is up to that person.
Roni
you want a pat on the back for being honest? pat pat
there ya go.
now consider that honesty is more than just words. if you want 'shortie' to have a fair shot, remember to be honest in your deeds also.
another thought, if a man isn't ready to be involved with someone seriously, he's probably getting himself ready by handling some stuff in his life. if that's the case, he should focus on that. even a woman that says she's cool with the casual situation you described in your post, eventually will want more. so stay focused on you until you feel like you might be ready. there's no need to get somebody else involved in your process.
from your posts, it seems like you're a man old enough to know that life isn't just about what you say, it's about what you do and women respond to both. i'm sure you knew that already though.
p.s. oh and if you are a grown man, why do you refer to a grown woman as shortie? just curious...
thanks for reading
L
Thanks to all who deposited a comment regarding today's blog. I always appreciate the feedback. I specifically want to address anonymous reader "L". I couldn't help but notice a sarcastic undertone in your comment. For the record... yes, I do fully understand that actions speak far louder than words. No I'm not seeking the proverbial pat on the back. I am a writer, who just happens to be a "grown man". My goal remains to shock and provoke my audience. Furthermore, I usually refer to grown women by their government name but I doubt that "L" would have gotten the same rise out of you. What do you think? :-)
I think your thought process was very clear and rational. Not every woman you come in contact with will become Mrs Robinson or your girlfriend, for that matter. She'e probably internalizing your honesty a little too much; in turn, it feels like rejection to her.
Who says you have to be alone until you "iron things out"? Besides everyone isn't sold on the american dream just yet. Personally, I've never had this longing desire to be married.
ActionS speak louder than words, you can't have it, love it and then leave it just b/c your scared, it's not always about you. it's either you want it or you don't. That's our problem we don't want a label b/c we don't want the committment. If you are doing all the things that the label stands for then what you are really saying is inaccurate. THINK ABOUT IT. SHE LOVES YOU AND YOU LOVE HER NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.
So to answer your question hell yes your wrong!!
MEKA
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