Man Up!!!
Sunday was Father's Day and as is customary for the past 9 years of my life, my phone's text inbox was flooded with cordial messages that extending well wishes and affirming compliments. I also received a plethora of phone calls from friends and loved ones. One particular phone conversation stands out more than all of the others, however. A childhood friend of 19 + years called to congratulate me on yet another successful year of fatherhood. Then he made a profound statement. He said, "You're a GOOD father. Did you realize that not one of our immediate homeboys grew up with so much as a decent father?"
A dead silence fell upon us. We sat speechless for what seemed like an eternity as we each attempted to run through a mental list of all the homies to see if we could find even one exception to the declaration he'd just made. Unfortunately, he was correct. Not a single one of our friends (in our immediate circle) has the privilege of staking claim to a responsible, present, or positively influential biological father. For all intensive purposes, that's pretty screwed up or as the fellas and I would say "Damn, dat's tuff!"
The good news however is that the lack of paternal presence during our adolescent and teen years has inspired (at least in the cases of my friends and I) a generation of men with a determination to reverse the irresponsible trends of the father's of the 70s. Today, I would venture to say that 80% of my friends are fathers. I am proud to say that within our circle, it would be as difficult to sift out an irresponsible father as it was in the 1970s to find a responsible one. My homies have stepped up to the plate, big time. Even in situations where the relationship between the child's parents has dissolved, the fathers remain active, present, and positively influential in the child's life.
I know it's not popular for brothas to pat themselves on the back for doing what they are expected to do, so I'll "biggup" the brothas on their behalf. To all of my dudes out here who consistently rise to meet the challenges of fatherhood head on, I commend you. Good brothas, keep doing what you do. Understand that your children are much better off as a result of having you as a constant presence in their lives. Thanks for "manning up"!!! Be Blessed.
Corey R.
2 comments:
Happy Father's Day...and I couldn't agree more..I was pretty lucky. even though things weren't conventional in my house my dad was a HUGE part of shaping me and I know it was for the better..I'm glad to see most of my homies stepping up and being there for their kids as well. It is very much needed.
cuz
I love to see a man taking GOOD care of his children. It shows so much character! I didn't grow up with my father in my life but I had/have a strong mother that was a mother, father, nurse, preacher, teacher, etc! She wore many hats and handled her business!
I still often wonder what I missed out on not having a father in my life and I wonder if that has shaped my feelings, beliefs, and thoughts today.
I'm glad you and many other brothers are stepping up and handling your business. Keep up the good job and continue to be role models for the next generation!
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